Sunday, March 9, 2008

Nothing

i think i am going to quit everything. nobody has written or called and i've been "missing" for over 7 days. nobody cares and therefore i don't care. church was cancelled (again!) this morning due to the weather. i really needed it. i think we could have had it as most of the congregation lives close to the church, though some do not. i don't understand why everything was cancelled. people could have made it. i would have. i needed it this morning and now i have nothing.

i am so angry this morning. just angry. pissed at everything and everyone. i have found out my hubby is seeing a counselor but he won't tell me who he is seeing or who is paying for it cause we don't have the money. this has made me very upset. i am his wife and i feel i deserve to know who he is seeing and who is paying for it. he doesn't even know if she is a christian counselor which i think is bad.

my appt isn't until the 26th and frankly i don't think i am going to make it til then.

just so tired of life etc. tired of everything. need a vacation bad. i have asked my hubby to ask about the family leave act at work to help me through this and so far he hasn't asked. i told him he has to call tomorrow and ask. i want to know, we need some options.

anyhow. another sucky day. i don't think anyone will ever write or call again and frankly i am to the point that i don't care.

2 comments:

eclexia said...

It sounds kind of shallow in the middle of all that you're going through and feeling, and I don't want to minimize any of it by saying I understand. Not sure if you got my email last week (my computer has been acting up). I do want you to know I think of you and pray for you, and while I'm sure that doesn't alleviate the pain of not hearing from those who are physically present in your life, I hope it helps a little bit to know you are thought of from even this far away.

eclexia said...

P.S. Well, THAT didn't come out right :) I was trying to say that anything I might say would sound shallow in the middle of all that you're going through, but I still wanted to try and say I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

I took a nap, woke up, reread what I'd submitted and realized it was not only unclear, but might even have sounded as if I were saying that YOU sounded shallow, which is not what I was thinking or feeling. Moral of the story, comment AFTER nap, not before