Saturday, April 12, 2008
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Thursday, April 10, 2008
After the Dove
"The thief's purpose is to steal and destroy and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness." (John 10:10)
Often after great victories, the greatest challenges and temptations of the Christian life will come. I have found that after great blessings in my life, after God works in a powerful way, the devil will be there to challenge it.
Think about it. After God had powerfully worked through Elijah on Mount Carmel, the prophet became so discouraged that he wanted to die. After Jesus was transfigured, He came down from the mountain to find a demon-possessed person waiting for them.
After Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River and the Holy Spirit came upon Him in the form of a dove and God said, "This is my beloved Son, and I am fully pleased with him" (Matthew 3:17). Then He was led into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After the dove came the devil.
The devil will always be there to challenge whatever God has done. It may come after church, after God has blessed you and spoken to you. You leave the parking lot and get hit with a heavy-duty temptation.
You wonder how that could happen. But that is just the devil's way. He wants to make your life miserable. Most importantly, he wants to steal anything that God has done in your life.
The devil is watching us and he's looking for vulnerabilities. That is why we need to pray for any person whom we know that God is using. And that is why we need to brace ourselves. The more you step out to be used by the Lord, the more you can expect opposition from the devil.
Copyright © 2008 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
For more relevant and biblical teaching from Pastor Greg Laurie, go to www.harvest.org.
"I will hold you always in the palm of my hand"
-Isaiah 41:13
Stronger
Hubby says I am getting stronger every day. Some days I feel like it, some days I don't. I will tell you its going to be a very long time for this hurt to go away. I am thankful to be leaving and excited that we are trying another church this weekend. We are both looking forward to that.
Got some new dress shoes yesterday. They are cute. Red. Also got some craft things, so earringgs and a cross necklace. I really like it and think it will go nicely with my cross earrings. They both look like they are made out of nails.
Thanks to all of you are who continuing to support us and stand behind us. We thank you for that.
I guess thats it.
Got some new dress shoes yesterday. They are cute. Red. Also got some craft things, so earringgs and a cross necklace. I really like it and think it will go nicely with my cross earrings. They both look like they are made out of nails.
Thanks to all of you are who continuing to support us and stand behind us. We thank you for that.
I guess thats it.
Friday, April 11, 2008
It's a Boy!
Just found out today, my brother and his wife are expecting another boy! We are all excited and everything looks good for both baby and mother. Just wanted to let you know!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
BEAUTIFUL DAY AND LEARNING ITS NOT MY FAULT
HELLO FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY. IT IS SO PRETTY OUTSIDE. I HAVE BEEN OUR RUNNING AROUND WITH MY MOTHER IN LAW. I HAD A DOC APPT THIS MORNING AND IT WENT OK. SHE CHANGED MY PAIN MEDICATION SO THAT IT WON'T HURT AS MUCH AND WON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT AS OFTEN. I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT.
I ALSO GOT AN ICE PACK (REUSABLE) AT WALMART TO HELP WITH THE SWELLING THERE. IT GETS PRETTY BAD AS THE DAY GOES ON AND BY NIGHTTIME I CAN'T HARDLY STAND IT.
WE WENT TO A NEW SMALL GROUP LAST NIGHT WHO IS WILLING TO ACCEPT US NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR LIVES OR THE FACT THAT I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS. IT WAS REFRESHING TO BE WITH A GROUP WHERE WE FELT WANTED AND LOVED. THEY ARE ALSO WILLING TO ACCEPT US COMING EVEN THOUGH WE WON'T BE COMING TO LIFBRIDGE FOR CHURCH ANYMORE. WE APPRECIATE THAT SO MUCH AND APPRECIATE THEIR LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR US THROUGH THIS TIME.
WE GOT TO TALK TO SOME OTHER FRIENDS LAST NIGHT AND TOLD THEM THE WHOLE STORY. NEEDLESS TO SAY THEY WERE SURPRISED. NOT THAT I HAD A MENTAL ILLNESS BUT AT THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS. THEY ARE ALSO WILLING TO STAND WITH US AND LOVE AND SUPPORT US EVEN THOUGH WE WILL NO LONGER BE AT THE SAME CHURCH. WE APPRECIATE THAT SO MUCH AND LOVE THEM VERY MUCH FOR IT.
I AM SLOWLY LEARNING THAT THE FACT THAT WE ARE LOSING FRIENDS IS NOT MY FAULT. IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS AND ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND US OR COMMUNICATE WITH US ANY LONGER. IT IS THEIR PROBLEM THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT I HAVE OR LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT. SO I AM JUST MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE. I CAN'T LET THEM RUIN MY LIFE BECAUSE THEY HAVE THIS PROBLEM. IT'S ALSO WHAT PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL THIS LAST TIME AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. I WON'T LET THE ACTIONS OR INACTION'S OF OTHERS DICTATE MY EMOTIONS ETC AND MAKE ME FALL APART AND NEED TO BE HOSPITALIZED AGAIN.
I WILL TELL YOU IT HAS GOTTEN SO BAD, OUR FRIENDS LEAVING US, THAT I CRIED AND COULDN'T LET ME HUSBAND GO TO WORK YESTERDAY. I WAS AFRAID HE WOULD LEAVE AND NOT COME BACK. HE GOT ME INTO MY COUNSELOR WHICH WENT SO SO BUT HE ASSURED ME OVER AND OVER THAT HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE NO MATTER WHAT THEY DIAGNOSE ME WITH OR WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. THAT WE WILL WORK THROUGH IT TOGETHER WITH GOD'S HELP.
WE ARE SOMEWHAT NERVOUS ABOUT LOOKING FOR A NEW CHURCH, BUT KNOW THAT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE. WE HAVE SEVERAL CHURCHES IN MIND TO TRY AND PRAY THAT GOD WILL LET US KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT ONE WHEN WE GET THERE.
MY MOTHER IN LAW GRACIOUSLY TOOK OFF TODAY AND TOMORROW TO RUN ME AROUND (SEE MY COUNSELOR AGAIN TOMORROW) AND JUST TO BE WITH ME. NEXT WEEK I WILL HAVE TO DO IT ON MY OWN, BUT HOPEFULLY BY THAT POINT I WILL BE MORE STABLE. ALSO, WE HAVE APPOINTMENTS (PRE-OP) ETC IN THE AFTERNOON THAT WILL ALLOW ME TO TAKE HUBBY TO WORK AND HAVE THE CAR TO RUN AROUND IF I WANT TO. THAT WILL HELP.
I AM RELIEVED THAT WE WILL NO LONGER BE AT LIFEBRIDGE. THEY ARE QUITE A FEW PEOPLE THERE THAT I WILL MISS SEEING EVERY SUNDAY, BUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND ILLNESS, I CANNOT DEAL WITH BEING IN THE SAME CHURCH AS THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE DESERTED US AND HURT US THIS BADLY. i HOPE SOME DAY TO BE ABLE TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HURT US, BUT I AM NOT AT THAT POINT YET. IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME QUITE A WHILE AND WILL HAVE TO BE WITH GOD'S HELP. I HOPE THAT THOSE WHO ARE OUR TRUE FRIENDS WILL UNDERSTAND.
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT FOR TODAY. I AM FEELING STRONGER TODAY, WHICH IS GOOD. WE WILL FIND OUT TOMORROW WHETHER MY NEW NIECE/NEPHEW WILL BE A NIECE OR NEPHEW. WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT THAT. WILL KEEP ALL POSTED.
SURGERY ON 21ST. PLEASE THOSE WHO READ THIS AND DO CARE, KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS DURING THIS TIME. WE DESPERATELY NEED THEM.
LOVE YA,
MYWOODSTOCK69
I ALSO GOT AN ICE PACK (REUSABLE) AT WALMART TO HELP WITH THE SWELLING THERE. IT GETS PRETTY BAD AS THE DAY GOES ON AND BY NIGHTTIME I CAN'T HARDLY STAND IT.
WE WENT TO A NEW SMALL GROUP LAST NIGHT WHO IS WILLING TO ACCEPT US NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR LIVES OR THE FACT THAT I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS. IT WAS REFRESHING TO BE WITH A GROUP WHERE WE FELT WANTED AND LOVED. THEY ARE ALSO WILLING TO ACCEPT US COMING EVEN THOUGH WE WON'T BE COMING TO LIFBRIDGE FOR CHURCH ANYMORE. WE APPRECIATE THAT SO MUCH AND APPRECIATE THEIR LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR US THROUGH THIS TIME.
WE GOT TO TALK TO SOME OTHER FRIENDS LAST NIGHT AND TOLD THEM THE WHOLE STORY. NEEDLESS TO SAY THEY WERE SURPRISED. NOT THAT I HAD A MENTAL ILLNESS BUT AT THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS. THEY ARE ALSO WILLING TO STAND WITH US AND LOVE AND SUPPORT US EVEN THOUGH WE WILL NO LONGER BE AT THE SAME CHURCH. WE APPRECIATE THAT SO MUCH AND LOVE THEM VERY MUCH FOR IT.
I AM SLOWLY LEARNING THAT THE FACT THAT WE ARE LOSING FRIENDS IS NOT MY FAULT. IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS AND ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND US OR COMMUNICATE WITH US ANY LONGER. IT IS THEIR PROBLEM THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT I HAVE OR LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT. SO I AM JUST MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE. I CAN'T LET THEM RUIN MY LIFE BECAUSE THEY HAVE THIS PROBLEM. IT'S ALSO WHAT PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL THIS LAST TIME AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. I WON'T LET THE ACTIONS OR INACTION'S OF OTHERS DICTATE MY EMOTIONS ETC AND MAKE ME FALL APART AND NEED TO BE HOSPITALIZED AGAIN.
I WILL TELL YOU IT HAS GOTTEN SO BAD, OUR FRIENDS LEAVING US, THAT I CRIED AND COULDN'T LET ME HUSBAND GO TO WORK YESTERDAY. I WAS AFRAID HE WOULD LEAVE AND NOT COME BACK. HE GOT ME INTO MY COUNSELOR WHICH WENT SO SO BUT HE ASSURED ME OVER AND OVER THAT HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE NO MATTER WHAT THEY DIAGNOSE ME WITH OR WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. THAT WE WILL WORK THROUGH IT TOGETHER WITH GOD'S HELP.
WE ARE SOMEWHAT NERVOUS ABOUT LOOKING FOR A NEW CHURCH, BUT KNOW THAT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE. WE HAVE SEVERAL CHURCHES IN MIND TO TRY AND PRAY THAT GOD WILL LET US KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT ONE WHEN WE GET THERE.
MY MOTHER IN LAW GRACIOUSLY TOOK OFF TODAY AND TOMORROW TO RUN ME AROUND (SEE MY COUNSELOR AGAIN TOMORROW) AND JUST TO BE WITH ME. NEXT WEEK I WILL HAVE TO DO IT ON MY OWN, BUT HOPEFULLY BY THAT POINT I WILL BE MORE STABLE. ALSO, WE HAVE APPOINTMENTS (PRE-OP) ETC IN THE AFTERNOON THAT WILL ALLOW ME TO TAKE HUBBY TO WORK AND HAVE THE CAR TO RUN AROUND IF I WANT TO. THAT WILL HELP.
I AM RELIEVED THAT WE WILL NO LONGER BE AT LIFEBRIDGE. THEY ARE QUITE A FEW PEOPLE THERE THAT I WILL MISS SEEING EVERY SUNDAY, BUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND ILLNESS, I CANNOT DEAL WITH BEING IN THE SAME CHURCH AS THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE DESERTED US AND HURT US THIS BADLY. i HOPE SOME DAY TO BE ABLE TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HURT US, BUT I AM NOT AT THAT POINT YET. IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME QUITE A WHILE AND WILL HAVE TO BE WITH GOD'S HELP. I HOPE THAT THOSE WHO ARE OUR TRUE FRIENDS WILL UNDERSTAND.
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT FOR TODAY. I AM FEELING STRONGER TODAY, WHICH IS GOOD. WE WILL FIND OUT TOMORROW WHETHER MY NEW NIECE/NEPHEW WILL BE A NIECE OR NEPHEW. WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT THAT. WILL KEEP ALL POSTED.
SURGERY ON 21ST. PLEASE THOSE WHO READ THIS AND DO CARE, KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS DURING THIS TIME. WE DESPERATELY NEED THEM.
LOVE YA,
MYWOODSTOCK69
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Bad Day
I am having a really bad day. I am losing friends left and right. I believe because they don't understand what I have and what I am going through or because they choose not to understand. We are looking for another church where we can go and just be "lost". Just go to church and worship the Lord and feed and recuperate and heal both emotionally and spiritually.
It is not up to me to judge, but I have a hard time believing that those who are leaving us as friends are acting very christian. Not the christian I believe we are supposed to be. Who are supposed to have compassion and understanding.
We have a small group of friends who have chosen to stick with us and we appreciate it so much. It means so much especially to me because I feel like I have someone on earth that I can rely on through our heavenly Father. So, thanks to that group for being there for us even if they don't understand yet, they are just accepting us for who we are at this moment and supporting us in what we are going through.
It has been a very difficult day for me today because I feel so alone on this earth. I know that God is with me and am gradually getting to the point where I am not angry at Him anymore for having me go through this. I realize that He is with me and will help me figure out how I am to use this for His purpose.
Anyhow, I guess that's it for now. Again, thanks to those for sticking with us and supporting us and praying for us. We appreciate it very much.
God Bless You All.
Love to all
-Woodstock69
It is not up to me to judge, but I have a hard time believing that those who are leaving us as friends are acting very christian. Not the christian I believe we are supposed to be. Who are supposed to have compassion and understanding.
We have a small group of friends who have chosen to stick with us and we appreciate it so much. It means so much especially to me because I feel like I have someone on earth that I can rely on through our heavenly Father. So, thanks to that group for being there for us even if they don't understand yet, they are just accepting us for who we are at this moment and supporting us in what we are going through.
It has been a very difficult day for me today because I feel so alone on this earth. I know that God is with me and am gradually getting to the point where I am not angry at Him anymore for having me go through this. I realize that He is with me and will help me figure out how I am to use this for His purpose.
Anyhow, I guess that's it for now. Again, thanks to those for sticking with us and supporting us and praying for us. We appreciate it very much.
God Bless You All.
Love to all
-Woodstock69
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Released
I have just been released from Harding psychiatric hospital. i was there for seven days. what put me there should put people to shame.
i again tried to cut my wrists. i am more of a cutter than trying to kill myself. i was in such emotional pain i couldn't take it anymore.
we have been kicked out of our small group without any say so from us. we didn't get to say anything in our defense or anything. just you're out and thats it.
then, there were some things said to me by someone in our church said things that deeply hurt my feelings and made me feel like i wasn't worth anything and that i was in the wrong when i was not. this person also was part of our getting kicked out of our small group.
so i am here to tell EVERYONE that i will not be back to our church again. i have been hurt too badly and have had enough.
those things that were said and things that happened all within less than a weeks span and all so suddenly, i am not going to take the risk by being around these people and be hurt again and sent back to the hospital because i cannot take it and it sends me into a deep depression.
i have been stabilized somewhat but its going to take quite a while to get over this. this is why some days i think it doesn't pay to even go to church.
i thank those of you who have chosen to stick with us. i appreciate that more than you know. i hope that we will still remain friends and can do things together. my disease makes me depressed and then manic (high or angry). so you will have to be patient with me.
also just so you all know, i am having surgery on the 21st to find out why i have been in such terrible female pain. i suspect endometreosis and if thats the case, we have opted for a full hysterectomy. the hysterectomy won't be done on the same day. on the 21st they will be doing a laproscopy that will go in and do exploratory surgery to see whats going on. i will go in and come home the same day.
thanks to all of you who have prayed for us and for those who came to visit me in the hospital. that meant alot to me.
again, those who have stayed in touch with my hubby lately and say they are willing to still be my friend and want to do things with me, i hope you truly mean it and will stand by it.
i guess thats it for now. i have just had enough of all of this and have waited a week (no internet access in hospital) to get this out there.
those of you who truly care, please continue to keep us in your prayers. we will need them as we go through the physical things as well as searching for a new church.
love to all who care.
i again tried to cut my wrists. i am more of a cutter than trying to kill myself. i was in such emotional pain i couldn't take it anymore.
we have been kicked out of our small group without any say so from us. we didn't get to say anything in our defense or anything. just you're out and thats it.
then, there were some things said to me by someone in our church said things that deeply hurt my feelings and made me feel like i wasn't worth anything and that i was in the wrong when i was not. this person also was part of our getting kicked out of our small group.
so i am here to tell EVERYONE that i will not be back to our church again. i have been hurt too badly and have had enough.
those things that were said and things that happened all within less than a weeks span and all so suddenly, i am not going to take the risk by being around these people and be hurt again and sent back to the hospital because i cannot take it and it sends me into a deep depression.
i have been stabilized somewhat but its going to take quite a while to get over this. this is why some days i think it doesn't pay to even go to church.
i thank those of you who have chosen to stick with us. i appreciate that more than you know. i hope that we will still remain friends and can do things together. my disease makes me depressed and then manic (high or angry). so you will have to be patient with me.
also just so you all know, i am having surgery on the 21st to find out why i have been in such terrible female pain. i suspect endometreosis and if thats the case, we have opted for a full hysterectomy. the hysterectomy won't be done on the same day. on the 21st they will be doing a laproscopy that will go in and do exploratory surgery to see whats going on. i will go in and come home the same day.
thanks to all of you who have prayed for us and for those who came to visit me in the hospital. that meant alot to me.
again, those who have stayed in touch with my hubby lately and say they are willing to still be my friend and want to do things with me, i hope you truly mean it and will stand by it.
i guess thats it for now. i have just had enough of all of this and have waited a week (no internet access in hospital) to get this out there.
those of you who truly care, please continue to keep us in your prayers. we will need them as we go through the physical things as well as searching for a new church.
love to all who care.
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