Give Up?

Ever have a day when you truly wanted to give up? I mean truly. Death. Kill yourself or wish you were dead in some other manner. So depressed that you don't see the meaning of going on with your life except for the fact that your husband tells you everyday that he needs you to stay here and be here.

Well, I ran across today's devotion by Oswald Chambers (boy could he write). Here is today's devotion:

"All or Nothing?"

Have you ever had a crisis in your life in which you deliberately, earnestly, and recklessly abandoned everything?? It is a crisis of the Will. You may come to that point many time externally, but it will amount to nothing. The true deep crisis of abandonment, or total surrender, is reached internally, not externally. The giving up of only external things may actually be an indication of your being in total bondage.

Have you deliberately committed your will to Jesus Christ? It is a transaction of the will, not of emotion; any positive emotion that results is simply a superficial blessing arising out of the transaction. If you focus your attention on the emotion, you will never make the transaction Do not ask God what the transaction is to be, but make the determination to surrender your will regarding whatever you see, whether it is in the shallow or the deep, profound places internally.

If you have heard Jesus Christ's voice n the waves of the sea, you can let your convictions and you consistency take care of themselves by concentrating on maintaining your intimate relationship to Him.

-John 21:7
Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord". So when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put his outer garment on (for he was stripped for work) , and threw himself into the sea. (NASB)

Do you have a burden you think you cannot bear? I know I do. In the past 6 weeks I have cut my wrists in order to possibly kill myself. The pain of losing friends and being kicked out of our group when we needed you the most, was just too much.

But I have had to remember to reach out to Jesus, no matter where I stand. When we went to church last week for the first time in quite a while I felt Him standing next to me 'saying Meg, I am right here, you need not fear for the things of the past but concentrate on me and the things of the future'.

I am not saying I am not still having my depressing days. And my days that I cry into my husbands arms and wonder what it is that I have done wrong to have everyone, but a few very strong ones (GOD BLESS YOU) stand with us. But we will make it. Hubby tells me every day, we will make it and we will go on to do the work that God wants us to do.

But I will tell you some days it is hard to hear and believe that. And some days, hubby has to believe for both of us. But between Oswald Chambers and the Bible, I am getting there. There are some books I would like to get that I think would help both of us. One is a Beth Moore book for me and the other is a book written by a woman who had been anorexic and now is bipolar and wonders if there is a connection. We both would like to get that and read it.

Anyhow, God is so good. I know that He is. My surgery is Monday and I was running out of pain pills the pain has been so bad that my doc graciously wrote a script for some more to help me get to Monday morning.

We have to be at the hospital at 8am. After that I don't know. Thanks to all who are reading thing and praying for us.

I hope this lesson has been a blessing to you. I know it was to me, terribly so.

Love ya'll

am really down today. the pain has gotten so bad i don't know how much more i can take it.(physical pain). surgery is on monday for those who care. we have to be there at 8am and go from there. i hope they find SOMETHING,ANYTHING and can take care of it to get rid of this pain

i see my counselor again tomorrow which should help. she knows everything thats happened lately plus some stuff from my childhood. should be interesting.
surgery is on monday for those who care.

guess thats it for now or i am gonna say things i shouldn't.

love all who care....
ps. pops came through his surgery just fine. so far so good. will keep you posted a i am.

P.S.

It's cold outside!!!!! Brrrr!

Reminder

Just a reminder that today is pre-op day. We go at 415pm. I DO know hubby will probably talk to her about different pain medicine because what I have isn't working if it sent me to the ER last night for terrible pain.

Remember us in your prayers.

PSALM 3

A DEAR FRIEND SENT THIS TO ME AND I THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO PUT OUT THERE. I HAD NEVER READ IT BEFORE, MAYBE YOU NEVER HAVE EITHER. MAYBE IT WILL HELP YOU TODAY.

1.O LORD, HOW MY ADVERSARIES HAVE INCREASED!

MANY ARE RISING UP AGAINST ME.

2. MANY ARE SAYING OF MY SOUL

THEREIS NO DELIVERANCE FOR HIM IN GOD.

3.BUT YOU, O LORD, ARE A SHIELD ABOUT ME,

MY GLORY, AND THE ONE WHO LIFTS MY HEAD

4.I WAS CRYING TO THE LORD WITH MY VOICE

AND HE ANSWERED ME FROM HIS HOLY MOUNTAIN.

5. I LAY DOWN AND SLEPT

I AWOKE FOR THE LORD SUSTAINS ME.

6.I WILL NOT BE AFRAID OF TEN THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE

WHO HAVE SET THEMSELVES AGAINST ME ROUND ABOUT.

7. ARISE, O LORD; SAVE ME,O GOD!

FOR YOU HAVE SMITTEN ALL MY ENEMIES ON THE CHEECK;

YOU HAVE SHATTERED THE TEETH OF THE WICKED.

8. SALVATION BELONGS TO THE LORD!

YOUR BLESSING BE UPON YOUR PEOPLE.

-PSALM 3 NASB

The Church of Oprah

A friend of mine who is a cop sent this to me. I thought it needed to be out there so here it is:




Subject: [InHisHands] Oprah's online "church" exposed



If You haven't heard of Oprah's new religion she is setting up you need to watch this video. This is very interesting information that we need to be aware of as Christians. We need to pray that she be exposed and that people who are sucked into this will have their eyes opened!

Click on the link below and it will take you to the video.(If the link doesn't work, copy and paste the link into your browser.)The church of Oprah exposed! This is SCARY!!!
ALL CHRISTIANS NEED TO WATCH THIS!!http://members.aol.com/PegsGraphics/OprahsChurchExposed.htmlHere's another link if you have problems with the one above:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA


We need to pray that "churches" like this don't keep creeping up and we just accept them. We need to stand up for our own and not let them run over us.

God Bless.

EXHAUSTED DAY

I AM SO TIRED TODAY. JUST EXHAUSTED. EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN TROUGH AND THE CONSTANT PAIN IS JUST WEARING ME OUT. THANK GOODNESS SURGERY IS ONLY ONE MORE WEEK AWAY. WE DO PRE-OP THIS TUESDAY. SO WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

WE WENT TO NEW LIFE CHURCH LAST NIGHT FOR CHURCH. IT WAS GOOD. HE PREACHED ON SACRED TRUST. IT'S JUST A SHORT 2 WEEK SERIES SO WE WILL GO NEXT WEEK TO HEAR THE REST. I WOULD LIKE TO GO ON SUNDAY MORNING TO SEE HOW IT IS DIFFERENT FROM SATURDAY NIGHT, BUT WE WILL SEE. IF THIS EXHAUSTION DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER FOR EITHER ONE OF US, WE WILL PROBABLY GO ON SATURDAY NIGHT AGAIN SO WE DON'T HAVE TO GET UP SUNDAY MORNING.

HUBBY'S GRANDMA IS NOT DOING WELL. SHE IS IN HOSPITAL WITH PNEUMONIA AS WELL AS OTHER PROBLEMS. SHE IS 93 YEARS OLD. SHE HAS LOST HER HUSBAND AND MANY OF HER FRIENDS BEFORE HER, SO I WON'T BE SURPRISED IF SHE IS READY TO GO. I DON'T KNOW IF WE WILL GO TO THE FUNERAL. HUBBY SAYS THAT'S HIS EXECUTIVE DECISION. IF HE DOESN'T THINK I CAN HANDLE IT, WE WON'T GO. WE'LL SAY GOOD-BYE OUR OWN WAY AND SEND HER FAVORITE FLOWERS TO THE FUNERAL HOME. PLEASE KEEP HER AND OUR FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS.

WE WILL TRY GROVE CITY NAZARENE AFTER FINISHING WITH NEW LIFE NEXT WEEK. I THINK WE WILL LIKE IT BETTER BUT I MAY BE SURPRISED. WE JUST WANT TO BE WHERE GOD WANTS US TO BE.

GUESS THAT'S IT FOR THIS TIME. WHOEVER IS IN COLUMBUS, TRY TO KEEP WARM! IT IS COLD OUT THERE!!