TONIGHT WE GOT SOME HELP. I GOT TO TALK WITH SOME PROFESSIONALS WHO ASSURED ME I WASN'T GOING CRAZY. THEY ARE THINKING ITS A MIX OF CHANGE OF MEDICINE AND THE POSSIBILITY OF MENOPAUSE WHICH IS MAKING MY HORMONES GO CRAZY. MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.
ANYHOW. IT WILL BE ROUGH, BUT FEELING MUCH BETTER TONIGHT. WANTED TO LEAVE YOU WITH THIS:
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!Heir of salvation, purchase of God,Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
Refrain:This is my story, this is my song,Praising my Savior all the day long;This is my story, this is my song,Praising my Savior all the day long.
Perfect submission, perfect delight,Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;Angels, descending, bring from aboveEchoes of mercy, whispers of love.
Perfect submission, all is at rest,I in my Savior am happy and blest,Watching and waiting, looking above,Filled with His goodness, lost in His love. (Frances J. Crosby).
God is good and I thank everyone for their prayers and reassurances!
Good Night.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Trying to Find Help
Our pastor gave us a name this morning of someone we can go talk to. I have called TWICE and let him know that we needed to see him today. I talked with my husband at lunch and am very angry about this whole situation. Nothing seems to work. He said he was going to try to call the counselor himself and see if he could reach him.
What good does it do to give us a name on a weekend when we needed him yesterday? I don't know if this guy even checks his messages on the weekend and quite frankly I don't think I can make it to monday without exploding.
By exploding I mean saying things that I will regret. I am so mad right now I feel like I could really hurt something.
I want to yell, scream, kick and most of all do it to someone who I don't feel like has really helped the situation at all.
Its after 1pm and the chances of us getting into see this guy today are getting less and less. How am I supposed to function at church tomorrow. I am certainly not going to act happy when I am not. I am not a faker. If I am not doing well, everyone will know it. Maybe I just shouldn't go.
What good does it do to give us a name on a weekend when we needed him yesterday? I don't know if this guy even checks his messages on the weekend and quite frankly I don't think I can make it to monday without exploding.
By exploding I mean saying things that I will regret. I am so mad right now I feel like I could really hurt something.
I want to yell, scream, kick and most of all do it to someone who I don't feel like has really helped the situation at all.
Its after 1pm and the chances of us getting into see this guy today are getting less and less. How am I supposed to function at church tomorrow. I am certainly not going to act happy when I am not. I am not a faker. If I am not doing well, everyone will know it. Maybe I just shouldn't go.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Falling Apart
Tonight I went out with friends to HoundDog Pizza here in Columbus for which was supposed to be a fun evening out. It did not turn out that way. For reasons I won't go into, I ended up leaving the restaurant crying and running out into the cold.
My husband, Dave, followed me and was there trying to help me and console me. I was so angry and so sad at the same time. I couldn't stop crying and felt like a complete fool. Not to mention my friends I left inside. I am sure they were wondering what was going on and why I was so angry. It wasn't their fault. I want to assure them of that.
Ever since I was in the hospital last week, I have not been the same. I cry all the time and feel anger at things that make no sense at all. I feel like I am falling apart and I wonder, is this what a nervous breakdown feels like? If so, why am I having it?
I am crying even now while I am writing this. I just don't feel like I can stop. I am worried that I hurt the feelings of my friends and now don't know how to face them. I love them all dearly and would never dream of hurting them. I just don't feel like I can help myself.
So, if anyone reads this tonight, I am especially in need of some desperate prayer and answers. Why is God letting me feel like this and go through this? It is so exhausting and it's hard on my husband too.
I guess thats it for now. I don't know what else to say. Just please pray for me and pray for my husband, Dave too as he helps me through this.
Thanks you guys.
My husband, Dave, followed me and was there trying to help me and console me. I was so angry and so sad at the same time. I couldn't stop crying and felt like a complete fool. Not to mention my friends I left inside. I am sure they were wondering what was going on and why I was so angry. It wasn't their fault. I want to assure them of that.
Ever since I was in the hospital last week, I have not been the same. I cry all the time and feel anger at things that make no sense at all. I feel like I am falling apart and I wonder, is this what a nervous breakdown feels like? If so, why am I having it?
I am crying even now while I am writing this. I just don't feel like I can stop. I am worried that I hurt the feelings of my friends and now don't know how to face them. I love them all dearly and would never dream of hurting them. I just don't feel like I can help myself.
So, if anyone reads this tonight, I am especially in need of some desperate prayer and answers. Why is God letting me feel like this and go through this? It is so exhausting and it's hard on my husband too.
I guess thats it for now. I don't know what else to say. Just please pray for me and pray for my husband, Dave too as he helps me through this.
Thanks you guys.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
"LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND AND IS NOT JEALOUS; LOVE DOES NOT BRAG AND IS NOT ARROGANT, DOES NOT ACT UNBECOMINGLY; IT DOES NOT ITS OWN, IS NOT PROVOKED, DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT A WRONG SUFFERED, DOES NOT REJOICE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH; BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS. LOVE NEVER FAILS."
I CORINTHIANS
I CORINTHIANS
Marine Barracks In Beruit and a dead terrorist
Today on the news, I just saw this news. Many of you may not remember, but back in the 1980s the Marines were stationed in Beruit while trying to help keep the peace. One bright morning, a terrorist parked a truck in front of the building and blew the barracks up, killing over 200 United States Marines.
Well today, that mastermind terrorist was killed in a car bomb. It is an emotional day for Marines everywhere today.
I am writing this because I come from a Marine Corps family dating back to WWI. So, while one should never rejoice in death, I am glad that this terrorist is gone.
God Bless Marines everywhere today, but especially those who were there in Beruit.
Well today, that mastermind terrorist was killed in a car bomb. It is an emotional day for Marines everywhere today.
I am writing this because I come from a Marine Corps family dating back to WWI. So, while one should never rejoice in death, I am glad that this terrorist is gone.
God Bless Marines everywhere today, but especially those who were there in Beruit.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
A Fun Evening Out!
I am tired tonight, but it is a good kind of tired. My husband and I had been toying around with giving up our rock music. Dave, my husband, gave it up before I did. But I finally came around. We thought it wasn't helping us grow closer to God. Some of the lyrics and all are not exactly edifying.
So, last night I sat down and matched all the cases with all the cds. I am not sure how many cds we had, but we had some good classics. Four cd sets of Clapton, Led Zepplin, AC/DC etc. Decent collection. We decided jointly to get rid of all of them. So, I boxed them all up and we took them to half-priced books tonight to see what we could get for them. Needless to say, we were quite shocked at the price they offered us for all of them. Pleased as punch! So, our cds are gone. And I feel better for it.
Now to the evening out. Because of what they offered us, my dear husband took me out for an early Valentine's Day dinner. We went to Fridays and had a fabulous meal finished off by the fabulous oreo chocolate cake (highly recommended). It was nice to sit and eat and laugh, chat and carry on after all that we have been through as of late with my health.
My gift for V-day was a pink bluetooth that I have been wanting for quite some time. I was very surprised by it and if you will pardon the expression, tickeled pink!
So, what an evening it turned out to be and what a surprise too! Those are the best kind though aren't they?
I hope that you all have an equally surprising and full of fun Valentine's Day tomorrow with your loved one.
Good Night.
So, last night I sat down and matched all the cases with all the cds. I am not sure how many cds we had, but we had some good classics. Four cd sets of Clapton, Led Zepplin, AC/DC etc. Decent collection. We decided jointly to get rid of all of them. So, I boxed them all up and we took them to half-priced books tonight to see what we could get for them. Needless to say, we were quite shocked at the price they offered us for all of them. Pleased as punch! So, our cds are gone. And I feel better for it.
Now to the evening out. Because of what they offered us, my dear husband took me out for an early Valentine's Day dinner. We went to Fridays and had a fabulous meal finished off by the fabulous oreo chocolate cake (highly recommended). It was nice to sit and eat and laugh, chat and carry on after all that we have been through as of late with my health.
My gift for V-day was a pink bluetooth that I have been wanting for quite some time. I was very surprised by it and if you will pardon the expression, tickeled pink!
So, what an evening it turned out to be and what a surprise too! Those are the best kind though aren't they?
I hope that you all have an equally surprising and full of fun Valentine's Day tomorrow with your loved one.
Good Night.
School and Fasfa
Well, it is about 1230pm today and I feel like I have done alot and nothing at all. I woke this morning feeling very jittery and wasn't sure what the day would hold, but it seems to have passed and the day is progressing fairly well.
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I am interested in finishing my college degree after being out of high school for 21 years. I tried to attend OSU last spring, but ended up in the hospital and had to drop out. OSU hasn't been so terribly helpful with things so now I am looking at some smaller schools in the area that carry my majors. So far I have sent for information from three schools and we will see what they offer etc.
So, this morning, I once again filled out my fasfa for this year. It went easily this as I remember everything from last year . Only took me a few short minutes to do it and I feel better having it done.
I am not sure how I will pay for school, but I know that God does provide. I have been trying to finish college since I first started all those years ago right after high school. I have a lot of supplies already from when I tried to attend last year, so that is helpful also (including a laptop). I am nervous as I will be 39 this summer and my brain doesn't work always like it did when I was younger. However, I am excited about getting back into it and FINALLY getting my degree finished!
Thanks to all of you who have responded to my blog so far. Your comments have been kind and make me feel so welcome. So, THANK YOU!
Hope each of you are having a good, safe day. God bless each one of you!
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I am interested in finishing my college degree after being out of high school for 21 years. I tried to attend OSU last spring, but ended up in the hospital and had to drop out. OSU hasn't been so terribly helpful with things so now I am looking at some smaller schools in the area that carry my majors. So far I have sent for information from three schools and we will see what they offer etc.
So, this morning, I once again filled out my fasfa for this year. It went easily this as I remember everything from last year . Only took me a few short minutes to do it and I feel better having it done.
I am not sure how I will pay for school, but I know that God does provide. I have been trying to finish college since I first started all those years ago right after high school. I have a lot of supplies already from when I tried to attend last year, so that is helpful also (including a laptop). I am nervous as I will be 39 this summer and my brain doesn't work always like it did when I was younger. However, I am excited about getting back into it and FINALLY getting my degree finished!
Thanks to all of you who have responded to my blog so far. Your comments have been kind and make me feel so welcome. So, THANK YOU!
Hope each of you are having a good, safe day. God bless each one of you!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
God is Good and a bit about myself
Today has been a day where I wasn't sure I would make it through the day. I have been suffering from a series of migraines for over a month now and even spent 4 days in the hospital this past week. There have been times when I have wanted to give up and was all I could do but cry and keep going.
I am on medicines now that most people wouldn't be on. I am allowed none of the usual migraine medicines now when I get a migraine so they have me on some narcotics to try to combat them.
On top of it all, I have come off of sleeping pill that has left me feeling as though my world is falling apart. It was good as a sleeping aid, but was also an anti-depressant which we did not realize at the time. So, coming off of it was a terrible experience and has left me feeling like I am having a nervous breakdown. So, they have me on a medicine that helps me feel like I am not falling a part.
This is not particularly a good way to introduce myself to you all, but it has been so much to deal with I had to talk about it.
On the whole, I am holding my own right now though some days are better than others. Thankfully I have wonderful friends, church family and most importantly a very patient and kind husband.
Now, a bit about myself. I am 38 years old for at least a few more months. My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. I have not yet finished college, but am in the process of seeking out a school to start out this fall and finish my degree. It has been a long time coming and I am excited to finally finish it.
I grew up in a christian home with my father at the Pastor of our church. Yes, I am a PK! It was good and bad but none the less has been the foundation of my life. I was saved at a young age, but as many do, wandered away from the Lord in my adult life. It has only been since the fall of 2006 that I have come back to the Lord and He has loving welcomed me back with open arms. God's grace is so good and so sufficient. We belong to a loving, Bible believing church close to the house here and we could not be more blessed by it.
So, that is a full blog for today, I suppose. I named this blog tye-dye trinity because I am a Christian hippie. I was much more of a hippie in my younger days, but now that God has reclaimed me for His own, it seems appropriate that I keep that in the title.
I hope that each of you will feel free to comment anytime you like. I welcome you into my world and ask your patience with me as I learn all about this blogging thing.
May God Bless each of you who read this. My verse for this week is:
Isaiah 53: 4-5 "Surely hehas borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed!" (revised standard version)
Good Night!
I am on medicines now that most people wouldn't be on. I am allowed none of the usual migraine medicines now when I get a migraine so they have me on some narcotics to try to combat them.
On top of it all, I have come off of sleeping pill that has left me feeling as though my world is falling apart. It was good as a sleeping aid, but was also an anti-depressant which we did not realize at the time. So, coming off of it was a terrible experience and has left me feeling like I am having a nervous breakdown. So, they have me on a medicine that helps me feel like I am not falling a part.
This is not particularly a good way to introduce myself to you all, but it has been so much to deal with I had to talk about it.
On the whole, I am holding my own right now though some days are better than others. Thankfully I have wonderful friends, church family and most importantly a very patient and kind husband.
Now, a bit about myself. I am 38 years old for at least a few more months. My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. I have not yet finished college, but am in the process of seeking out a school to start out this fall and finish my degree. It has been a long time coming and I am excited to finally finish it.
I grew up in a christian home with my father at the Pastor of our church. Yes, I am a PK! It was good and bad but none the less has been the foundation of my life. I was saved at a young age, but as many do, wandered away from the Lord in my adult life. It has only been since the fall of 2006 that I have come back to the Lord and He has loving welcomed me back with open arms. God's grace is so good and so sufficient. We belong to a loving, Bible believing church close to the house here and we could not be more blessed by it.
So, that is a full blog for today, I suppose. I named this blog tye-dye trinity because I am a Christian hippie. I was much more of a hippie in my younger days, but now that God has reclaimed me for His own, it seems appropriate that I keep that in the title.
I hope that each of you will feel free to comment anytime you like. I welcome you into my world and ask your patience with me as I learn all about this blogging thing.
May God Bless each of you who read this. My verse for this week is:
Isaiah 53: 4-5 "Surely hehas borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed!" (revised standard version)
Good Night!
Hello
Good snowy evening! I am new to blogging and not sure I will impart any great wisdom, but life experience is sometimes better!
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