Thursday, February 14, 2008

Falling Apart

Tonight I went out with friends to HoundDog Pizza here in Columbus for which was supposed to be a fun evening out. It did not turn out that way. For reasons I won't go into, I ended up leaving the restaurant crying and running out into the cold.

My husband, Dave, followed me and was there trying to help me and console me. I was so angry and so sad at the same time. I couldn't stop crying and felt like a complete fool. Not to mention my friends I left inside. I am sure they were wondering what was going on and why I was so angry. It wasn't their fault. I want to assure them of that.

Ever since I was in the hospital last week, I have not been the same. I cry all the time and feel anger at things that make no sense at all. I feel like I am falling apart and I wonder, is this what a nervous breakdown feels like? If so, why am I having it?

I am crying even now while I am writing this. I just don't feel like I can stop. I am worried that I hurt the feelings of my friends and now don't know how to face them. I love them all dearly and would never dream of hurting them. I just don't feel like I can help myself.

So, if anyone reads this tonight, I am especially in need of some desperate prayer and answers. Why is God letting me feel like this and go through this? It is so exhausting and it's hard on my husband too.

I guess thats it for now. I don't know what else to say. Just please pray for me and pray for my husband, Dave too as he helps me through this.

Thanks you guys.

5 comments:

Patchouli said...

Holding my hand out to you...

tye-dye trinity said...

thank you so much.

Milly said...

I'm sure your friends understand that you are having a hard time of it.

I'm praying for both of you.

Kansas Bob said...

Thanks for sharing your pain with us. I pray that God will bring peace in the midst of your storm.

tye-dye trinity said...

kansas Bob,

i just wrote another post. i am so mad right now. nobody seems to really want to help, thats what i feel like. people say they are doing things to try and help, but is doesn't seem like it to me and then i get angry. whats wrong with me?