TIRED OF IT ALL

NOBODY CARES. I SHOULD HAVE JUST DIED THE NIGHT I SLIT MY WRISTS AND GOTTEN IT OVER WITH. I AM TIRED OF ALL OF THIS AND TIRED OF TRYING. I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE HAS DESERTED ME INCLUDING GOD. HE GIVES ME ALL THIS STUFF, BROKEN FOOT, MENTAL ISSUES AND MY FEMALE ISSUES NOW IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. I DON'T KNOW HOW HE EXPECTS ME TO HANDLE ALL OF THIS AT ONCE. I CAN'T DO IT. I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

I HAVE BEGGED MY HUBBY TO TAKE ME BACK TO THE HOSPITAL. I CANNOT HANDLE IT OUT HERE. I CANNOT HANDLE IT WITH OUT SUPPORT AND SO FAR I HAVE HAD VERY LITTLE.

WE'VE TRIED TO FIND A SUPPORT GROUP AND CAN'T FIND A CHRISTIAN ONE THAT DOESN'T LEAVE US LEAVING FEELING WORSE THAN WE CAN IN. FEELING MORE DEPRESSED AND HOPELESS THAN WHEN WE CAME IN. WE HAVE JOKINGLY SAID WE WOULD HAVE TO START OUR OWN SUPPORT GROUP, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE'D WE WOULD HAVE IT. I WOULDN' T WANT STRANGERS IN MY HOME.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM TIRED OF IT ALL. TIRED OF LOSING FRIENDS, THAT HURTS MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE, AND TIRED OF THE PAIN ETC FROM THE BROKEN FOOT AND THE FEMALE PAIN. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO SCHEDULE A SURGERY FOR THAT BUT SO FAR WE HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD.

ANYHOW. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH TODAY. I THINK I WILL JUST GO TO SLEEP AND SLEEP THE REST OF THE DAY. AT LEAST THAT WAY I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.