DISCLOSURE

I WASN’T SURE THE DAY WOULD EVER COME WHEN I WOULD WRITE ABOUT THIS ON MY BLOG, BUT IT SEEMS TO HAVE COME TO A POINT WHERE IT NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN BECAUSE OF THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE AFFECTED. I HAVE ALREADY LOST ONE FRIEND BECAUSE OF IT AND I DON’T WANT TO LOSE ANYMORE, SO I AM GOING TO WRITE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON. THEN, IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK THEM. I WON’T BE OFFENDED BY THEM.

BECAUSE OF PERSONAL REASONS, ON FEBRUARY 28TH I SLIT MY WRISTS. NOW THEY WEREN’T THAT BAD THAT I NEEDED STITCHES OR WAS IN DANGER OF DYING BECAUSE NONE OF THAT WAS THE CASE. I THINK YOU CAN SEE THE SCARS, BUT MY HUBBY SAYS I WILL ALWAYS SEE THE SCARS WHETHER THEY ARE THERE OR NOT.
ON FEBRUARY 29TH, WE GOT UP FROM BED AND WENT TO SEE OUR PASTOR. WE TALKED WITH HIM FOR A WHILE AND THEN DECIDED I NEEDED TO GO TO OSU (OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL) TO BE CHECKED OUT BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. MY WRISTS WERE FINE AND I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO KEEP THEM BANDAGED THAT LONG.

I CHECKED MYSELF INTO OSU HARDING PYSCHIATRIC HOSPITAL BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I NEEDED SOME HELP. I COULDN’T CONTROL MY EMOTIONS ANYMORE AND I WANTED TO HURT MYSELF AND HAD UNINTENTIONALLY HURT OTHERS.
SO, I SPENT FROM THE 29TH OF FEBRUARY TIL THE 6TH OF MARCH IN THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL WHERE THEY DIAGNOSED ME AS BEING BIPOLAR II.
THAT MEANS THAT I AM DEPRESSED FOR DAYS OR WEEKS AND THEN I AM HAPPY OR “HIGH” FOR DAYS OR WEEKS. ITS NOT AS BAD AS REGULAR BIPOLAR WHERE PEOPLE ARE DEPESSED AND MANIC (HIGH) FOR MONTHS. MINE ISN’T THAT BAD.

I AM ON MEDICATION AND HUBBY HAS ALREADY NOTICED A DIFFERENCE. ALSO, I SEE A SHRINK FOR THE MEDICATION AND A COUNSELOR TO DEAL WITH BEING BIPOLAR II AS WELL AS ALL THE JUNK THAT HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE THAT SHOULD BE DEALT WITH.

HUBBY AND I WILL ALSO BE SEEING A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR TO DEAL WITH THE BIPOLAR STUFF BUT ALSO TO DEAL WITH JUNK FROM THE PAST THAT NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH.

SO, NOW THAT YOU ALL KNOW, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF EITHER ONE OF US (FOR THOSE WHO LIVE CLOSE TO US HERE) EVEN THOSE WHO DON'T LIVE CLOSE CAN ASK QUESTIONS. I HOPE THAT IT DOESN’T DRIVE ANY MORE OF YOU AWAY. I HOPE THAT YOU WILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND HAVE COMPASSION WITH BOTH OF US. THIS WAS NOT EASY TO TELL, BUT LIKE I SAID, I FELT IT HAD COME TO A POINT THAT IT NEEDED TO BE TOLD.

AS I HAVE SAID, ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIVE HERE WITH US, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS OF EITHER ONE OF US AND WE WILL TRY TO ANSWER THEM THE BEST THAT WE CAN.

WE LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH.