Thursday, January 15, 2009

Brrrr and a Little Laugh for a Cold, Cold Day

So, its currently about 6 degrees here today with a -4 windchill. Nice. We got about 7 inches of snow ( I haven't actually measured accurately) here at the house yesterday. Every thing is a slippery mess and there were more wrecks on the roads this morning than I thought possible.

My body is not at all happy with this storm (and storm after storm pattern we seem to be in right now). My fibro is acting up and my bone arthritis is just killing me. That, of course, does not include the migraine I am currently fighting (and have been since about 530am this morning), or the cough and small fever that I have because my lungs can't handle the cold air at all. Thrilling. Ahh, the sun is trying to come out and it hurts my eyes, but I doubt it will do any good in warming us up. Tonight and tomorrow are supposed to be worse temperature wise and I am so looking forward to that!

Anyways, don't have any songs to share today, but one of my friends sent the "laugh" below in an email and I thought I would share it with ya'll. You know the saying, ' there's a sucker born every minute'; well, I would almost guarantee that there's an idiot born every second. Enjoy the laughs (and you will shake your head at some of these).

For those of you reading this that are in the deep freeze like me, try to keep warm and not get frostbite. Also be careful on the roads if they are snow/ice covered; just remember that probably half of the other drivers out there with you are those 'idiots'!

Enjoy and God Bless.

Guaranteed Your Laugh for the Day!

Number One Idiot of 2008:
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot of 2008:
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign,guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three Idiot of 2008:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your money in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Number Four Idiot of 2008:
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........But you still get a sign

Number Five Idiot of 2008:
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber s aid he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Six of 2008:
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

Idiot Number Seven of 2008:
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of PlexiGlass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.

Idiot Number Eight of 2008:
We live in a semi-rural area, ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ), and we recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

STAY ALERT! They walk among us, they REPRODUCE!

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